char y (acanti) wrote,
char y

a rare rant.

(disclaimer: I may be harsher than normal because today has not been Good.)

okay, as much as I sympathise with underdogs and unrequited love? this whole 'nice guys never get the girl' sentiment that has been going around online is REALLY ANNOYING. I saw it on 9GAG first, but now I'm seeing it on facebook which annoys me way more because these are people I actually know. I think it's a subset of the friendzone thing, but that's a broader thing which I'm not going to address here.

I accept that there are genuine cases in which genuinely selfless, nice guys do not get the girl. but in my opinion such genuinely selfless, nice guys wouldn't even see it that way. to them, it would be a case of 'this girl does not like me back :(' rather than 'I'm really nice to her so why doesn't she love meeee'. you are not single because you treat girls well. you are single because the girl does not like you back. this should not be tied to how well you treat her, as if she owes you a debt for receiving your niceness. this is how I see it1:

[I. Re: Niceness]
1. niceness can sometimes be passive-aggressive behaviour. you, and not others, know your true motivations and intentions best.

[II. Re: The implicit link between niceness and getting the girl]
1. being nice does not entitle you to someone else's affections. genuine niceness should be given with no strings attached, without the expectations of reciprocated affection.
2. has the guy actually TOLD the girl how he feels rather than just faffing around assuming she'll guess from how 'nicely' he's treating her? if the girl genuinely does not know, it's unfair to pin the blame on her lack of response.

[III. Re: General things]
1. if the girl knows how you feel, and continues to take your nice treatment of her for granted, why the hell do you want to be with her?!
2. if you do still want to be with her despite her taking you for granted, you really shouldn't be whining about her mistreatment of you. because you know this is the way she is, and to some extent it really is a choice on your part to continue. do not pin it all on her. and certainly do not pin it on your nice behaviour.

that said, I hate it when girls trample all over guys' niceness. >| take take take it all but you never giveeeee okay I have gotten to the point where I am quoting bruno mars so I'm going to stop now.

1 this works the other way round too, for girls who treat guys nicely and other non-heteronormative variations thereof.
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